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Violent J’s Gathering Report

Good times man, that’s all this life is about for me. Is rackin’ up good times for good memories to cherish. For Juggalo ninjas like us, what better way to rack up some good times and powerful memories than to actually attend an infamous Gathering of the Juggalos. It’s gone down for me 11 times now and each year has it’s own unique stories and incredible moments that I will never ever forget. I feel like I’ve seen so much and been fortunate enough to do so many cool things in my life and yet the Gathering always surprises me with amazing amounts of karma. It’s truly magical what happens out there. Ask anyone who’s there, Juggalo or not. It’s like walking around paradise on earth. The freedom, the excitement, the love, the company, it’s all just fuckin’ incredible. As everybody always says, it really can’t be put into words and yet here I am once again trying to relay it’s freshness through words and once again, I’m falling short.

I was mad nervous driving in. I don’t know what it was, I guess it’s flat out excitement. We were riding in the shuttle van behind some Juggalos from Idaho. They were 2 cars deep and they had their cars all painted up like graduation. The grounds were already packed on Wednesday and shit don’t even officially start until Thursday, but ninjas from everywhere wasn’t passin’ up an extra day of being together. Even with no events the party was on full blast. Right off the rip I noticed a lot of first timers this year. Ninjas who took that step and went for the first time were loving every second of it.

It was fuckin’ hot during the day, at times painfully, dreadfully hot. But we caught a couple big breaks this year with some breezy rainy weather that came and went once or twice right on time. Club Chaos was called Club Lotus this year. I heard it was because all the original Club Chaos crew couldn’t make it this year, so instead of doing it up Chaos style without everybody, they switched the name up which is cool.

Mike E Clark’s campsite looked like he spent 2 months settin’ it up. He had lawn chairs, a big kitchen cooking area, 3 different trailers, lights up in the trees and all that. It looked like a special section of the woods was cut out exclusively for him. Mike is an insane cook and he was schooling mother fuckers to death with his grill skills all weekend. I Got to catch Mike E Clark perform twice this year. Both at his main party and also at a surprise gig he did at the brand new Juggalo club known as Area 17. Mike is my most favorite live show of all Psychopathic acts, if I had to absolutely pick one. Seeing Mike freak out and hearing those incredible mix ups and crazy mash ups blows my head into confetti every fuckin’ time.

One of my favorite things about this years GOTJ was of course the release of Big Money Rustlas. Me and Shaggs got to sit in our golf carts just behind the ninjas, sittin’ there watchin’ it on the big screen. That was hella dope hearing everybody’s reactions to the jokes in the movie. Some hit, some flopped, but everybody seemed to really like it overall.

Everybody has there own personal favorite highlights of the weekend, mine of course was wrestling. Bloodymania 4 was fuckin’ mega large for me. It was ON POINT. It went off exactly as planned. Every last ninja we had booked for wrestling showed up except Scott Hall, who unfortunately got arrested a few days before. The matches went off exactly like we dreamed they would every night for the prior 6 weeks. The crowd was huge, probably 3000. The greatest thing was nobody threw shit. That was the best part. It was fuckin’ awesome to say the least. Especially the 4 way tag match. We have new JCW Tag Team champions. It was Chris Hero and Claudio Castinova’s first time teaming in JCW and BAM! They won the belts in a 5 Star classic match. And even though he’s banned from JCW, 2 Tuff Tony showed up under a mask and got his revenge on Balls Mahoney from last year. Corp had Terry Funk in his corner and won a huge 3 way main event.

But Flashlight wrestling was the most special of the whole weekend for me. Seeing those legends wrestling again with all the love Juggalos was showing them was powerful shit man. Very powerful shit for me. All them flashlights in the crowd created a sweet illusion. It made it look like a giant sold out dark stadium. It was big time with even bigger time names. Bullet Bob Armstrong came out of retirement for the show and afterward he said “Now I can retire. I will never do anything again that will ever top that.” He really meant it, too. Them guys had a blast. Those 2 Flashlight shows were epic and the ninjas there knew it. That shit will live forever in our hearts for real dog. Footage wont do it any justice either. You had to be there. The cool, early morning air felt so good, the energy between everybody was on blast, everybody loved the moment and knew what they were seeing was special. Everybody was fuckin’ smilin‘ hard. I was straight up drunk on fun. Straight wasted.

While that was going on, on the other side of town Tila Tequila was getting beamed with garbage. I don’t understand that shit. I wish that shit didn’t happen to her. We said it in our seminar, please don’t throw shit at her. I wasn’t there but I heard. Number 1 she didn’t deserve to be physically hurt. If you’re out there in the crowd tryna physically hurt somebody on one of our stages I consider you an enemy sniper tryna fuck up our event. I can understand booing someone you don’t like, or don’t wanna see. Even throwing some shit around. But why would you make somebody a target and try to hurt them? Especially somebody trying to entertain you? That’s it. That’s my stale ass speech. I’m pissed off because we’re getting’ sued for millions and just like everybody else out there we ain’t got no fuckin’ money.

Besides that, it was straight up Shangra-La on earth. It was like as if a fight broke out in heaven or something. The Violent J’s Michael Jackson Moonwalk BBQ Blowout Pajama Jam was truly entertaining. First off the music was really good. All Mike is all good with me. Come to find out mad Juggalos are down with Michael Jackson too. I seen a few sparkly gloves. The two Michael Jackson impersonators were both awesome as hell. I talked to one of them afterward and he said that was one of the best times he ever had. It was beyond dope watching them while the hot dogs and cheese burgers was pourin’ off the stage like a food falls. While we was bumpin’ and jumpin’ at the Jumpoff there was some light rain rollin’ in, fresh wind, it was fuckin’ ridicules ninja. DJ Clay had that bitch movin’ to Michael’s finest. It was a great time that I will never forget, we just might have to do that shit again next year.

We even shot the video for Juggalo Island at the Gathering. That was awesome hookin’ up with all them ninjas shootin’ them scenes. I cant front though I was fuckin’ hot. I don’t do good in the heat. The heat kicks my ass. Vampiro used to call me the Polar Bear. But that Video is gonna be some dope shit because the Juggalos was straight up wilin out in it! Everybody was mad hyped for it. It was pretty dope when we did it at night with about 300 Juggalos all around us as the huge ass 20 foot fire was burning behind us. Man we got so much love up in that bitch. So many daps, hugs, whoop whoops, pictures, all weekend it’s shocking to be sittin’ here at home reliving it all. If I was a dick when I met you my bad, I apologize but I couldn’t possibly talk to every ninja tryna chop it up. Some times we had to just pull off on ya. Of course its understandable everybody wants to say hi but it makes peepin’ events impossible. Unless you’re a duck and dodge ninja like me on a golf cart with the light off. I damn near ran over a couple passed out Juggalos layin’ on the grass. But I have hella tight maneuvering capabilities that allow me stealth perception.

I Gave away my 2 most favorite pairs of shoes at the ICP Seminar. My Baby Blue Fruit Punch Bapstas and my infamous Clown yellow Babstas are now in the hands of 2 lucky ninjas. I hope the shoes are happy in there new homes, or perhaps chillin’ on eBay. We announced some pretty fuckin’ cool things at the seminar, all of which we will be announcing publicly soon.

I was just finishin’ getting ready for our show when Corp told me Method Man and Red Man want to talk to us and we went on there bus thinking we were about to hug it up and prop each other up and all that but instead we got schooled by Meth. He said “Look at my face man, I gotta go home to my little girl like this man, I’m bleedin’ man, outta my face“. Red Man walked by us without looking at us and said “Man that show was wack“. Meth continued “Man what the fuck you got us on man? We did this shit for you man and somebody bust me in the fuckin’ face with a full can of beer. I feel like you guys are responsible for this shit. I think you guys should say something out there, go out there and fix that.“ I said “Man we’re sorry that happened to you and we apologize for it.“ Then he gave us a half hearted dap and we left. That was all we said. I tried not to let that bum me out before this extra special show and thankfully I was able to forget it completely once I stepped out there with my brother Shaggy.

The ICP show was monster-us, the crowd was breath taking for us. It was like every single ninja was on the same page and there was thousands of us. Every single ninja all the way back, all of us grooving in the middle of nowhere. Nothingness all around us for miles and here we are… thousands and thousands of us gathered together bumpin’ under the moon to this insane wicked music. The music that so many hate and so few love… and here are the few, all together… for tonight we are the masses… For these four days and nights the few become the masses and the world is ours.

- Violent J